Love and generosity

(Disclaimer: all names in this entry have been changed)

For the past week or so, Casa Puente has had an awesome guest, who I'll refer to as Gloria.  Her story has greatly inspired me, especially through a very hectic week, so I wanted to share a little bit with you.

Gloria is from the southeastern United States.  She worked for a cleaning company many years ago, and one day another worker, who I'll refer to as Maria, called her up.  Maria, who is from southern Mexico, was a teenager and didn't speak much English at the time, and Gloria spoke practically no Spanish.  However, through the help of a stranger, Maria was able to communicate to Gloria that she (Maria) was being held captive by the cleaning company contractor because they said she owed money for her coyote.  Maria had run away, but had no where to go, and she had found Gloria's phone number.  At this point, not knowing what else to do, Gloria took Maria in.

Gloria has a son (who I'll refer to as John) who is around the same age as Maria, and the two of them became very close.  Maria taught John Spanish as he helped her improve her English.  Gloria tried to warn Maria that John was bad news- that he was heavily involved in drugs and alcohol- but Maria didn't seem to mind.  It turns out that Maria's older brother in Mexico was the same way.  In fact, he would sexually abuse Maria when she was a child to the point that Maria's mother sent Maria to a convent when Maria reached menarche for the sole purpose of preventing Maria from getting pregnant.

Anyway, before long, Maria and John got married and had their first child.  However, John only continued to  use drugs and alcohol, and became quite abusive.  After giving birth to their second child, Maria decided to move back to Mexico with her children so she could be with her parents.  It wasn't long before John followed her down, and from there things got much worse.

Over Christmas this past year, Gloria went to Mexico to visit Maria and John and her two grandchildren.  In advance of her visit, she sent money so that they could buy food and presents for the holidays and so they could gas up the car to pick Gloria up at the airport.  When they picked Gloria up at the airport, John said that the car didn't have gas, and could Gloria help them out.  Then, when they got to Maria and John's house, there was almost nothing in the refrigerator and Maria told Gloria that there were no presents for the kids.  Gloria became very angry, asking what happened to the money she sent, but Maria didn't know anything about it.

Although Gloria very clearly struggles financially, she rented a place nearby to stay for a few weeks and took her grandchildren for the holidays.  She was also finally able to get Maria to admit that John is abusive and that he is involved with drug lords in Mexico.  She said that the kids are afraid of him and that she's scared for all of their lives.

So, flash forward to 7 months later.  Maria called Gloria to tell her that her third baby is due at the end of August, but that she "doesn't want to think about how it was conceived".  Maria decided it was time to leave John once and for all, but she didn't quite have the means to do it on her own.  So Gloria called a domestic abuse hotline and found out that she should have Maria come to Juárez from southern Mexico and then cross into El Paso to seek protection under VAWA.  Gloria sent Maria money for a bus ticket and then drove more than halfway across the southern United States with a friend.  Maria made the 3-day bus trip to Juárez (side note: this had to be terrible, especially since she's 8 months pregnant) and Gloria met her there.  They stayed for a few days in Juárez, and then they all crossed into El Paso (except for Maria's oldest child, who she sent to stay with her sister in Mexicali).  Gloria and her friend crossed the bridge with ease since they're U.S. citizens, but Maria and her 3-year-old daughter were at the port of entry for a few hours to go through the first VAWA interview.  (Luckily, she said the interview wasn't as bad as the interrogation that she was prepared for.)

Currently, Maria and her daughter are staying in a shelter in El Paso, waiting for a court date for the processing of Maria's visa (oftentimes people seeking VAWA visas are held in detention centers, but Maria is considered a humanitarian case due to her late stage of pregnancy and thus is allowed to stay in a special shelter as long as she does not try to leave El Paso).  Gloria's friend took a bus back home, so Gloria is hanging out with us, trying to figure out what comes next.  They're still unsure about when Maria's son is coming to El Paso and about whether the long trip back to Gloria's house will be too much for Maria before the baby is born.  Plus, now they have to figure out where Maria and the kids are going to live, since they feel like if John comes looking for them, the first place he'll look is his mother's house.

To be honest, hearing this story come out bit by bit has seemed more like a movie than real life.  I was able to spend several hours talking to Gloria last weekend, during which she told me that her son would literally kill her if he found out that she is helping Maria.  She expects that he will end up dead somewhere in southern Mexico over the next few years, just like many other people involved with drug cartels.  She also laments that she "created such a monster."

It's hard to imagine anything but pure love coming out of Gloria.  I have never met anyone so generous with what little she has.  And Maria is the same way.  I have felt so blessed having them, Maria's beautiful daughter, and their super cute dog in my life for the past week or so, as they have taught me so much about what extreme kindness really looks like.